Any marketing expert will tell you that a product needs a good name – something that sets expectations in the buyers mind. Something that represents the consumer experience. The film market is no exception, and wandering through the Cannes marketplace where hundreds of production and distribution companies are hanging their wares out for all to see, one product name really caught my eye: Nude Nuns with Big Guns. Whoa! Now there’s a product. And the advertising copywriters have had some fun with the film’s tage line as well. It reads:“this sister is one bad mother.” (The story is about Sister Sarah who is called by God to get revenge on the corrupt clergy, and who has to fight it out with the Church’s heavily armed bikey gang “Los Muertos”).

For a very brief moment, I am tempted to go and ask for more details, but then I remember what a class city we are. Surely no one in Canberra would be seriously be interested. But then again, our best selling film last year was about Nazi Zombies? Decisions, decisions – and all based on a name. I dig a bit deeper and discover the the actresses involved: Tiffany Cache, Tawny Amber Young, Angel Santana – yup I think I know where this is headed. I move on, and pass a bunch of posters for Australian films. All I see is horror. Primal, Needle, Uninhabited, The Reef, The Clinic and of course the inevitable The Backpacker. Yes, this is what seems to be coming out of Australian film industry at the moment.

Perhaps Wolf Creek is to blame? Made in 2005 for a million dollars, it frightened more than $20 million out of the pockets of audiences around the world. Since Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho (screening here in Cannes on its 50^th anniversary) the market for freaking people out seems insatiable. Landmark horror films like Night of The Living Dead (budget US$114,00 & box office US$30m) and Halloween (budget US$325,00 & box office US$70m) set an early trend for the riches that can await the successful horror director, so who can blame young filmmakers for trying their hand at the genre.

Earlier this year the low budget Paranormal Activity (with its reported budget of $US15,000) raked in close to US$200m around the world. Horror is also easier to make than other genres – all you need (leaving aside a good story) is a creepy guy, a creepy location and a supply of innocent victims. No point casting anyone expensive, as they probably won’t survive the whole story. And what you save on lighting you can spend on make-up and sound design. Or a marketing expert to come up with one of those subtle names for the film.

But the Australia isn’t the only nation churning out horror product. The Americans are screening The Last Exorcism, Hyenas, and Sweatshop. The British have Fired, Strigoi The Undead, Siren, and the extremely bizarre The Human Centipede – The First Segment. (Don’t even watch the trailer!) And countries like Hungary, Belgium and The Philippines are getting in on the act with titles like Prowl, Cannibal and Patient X.

None of these really interest me that much – I have already found the product I want for Canberra. It’s an hilarious vampire-horror film from Canada. Low budget yes, but a great script and some interesting casting with Alice Cooper, Malcolm McDowell and Iggy Pop topping the billing. What’s it about? Well, a struggling rock band discovers they get better audiences as vampires. The name of the film? Very easy to remember: Suck. Move over Nazi zombies – this one really has some bite.

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